My girlfriend got charged for beastiality because I’m an animal in bed
i only care about inner beauty
like bone structure
ladies. be careful when u wear spaghetti straps. it might distract the boys. they’ll start thinking of spaghetti. they will get hungry. they will stop at nothing to get their spaghetti.
fact: girls don’t poop until they’re married
“Got some henny chillin’ on ice, very special! hope you make the rest of my life, very special”
team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”
- Me: "Dude, please don't be depressed. Well, I mean I'm not labeling you as depressed or anything, but you know what I mean haha. Just don't be sad, please."
- BFG: "I'm not depressed. But I feel like shooting myself right now. Shooting myself in the foot. I can't shoot myself in the head though, my brain's too valuable. I'm valuable. Fuck dude, I can't even be suicidal hahaha."
- You said it yourself, best. You're too valuable. The world needs you. Someone will need you. Promise.